Soumya's Weird Musings

Who needs validation when you've got your own little tight-knit group making your day as vibrant as the last? When you're friends with them, there's something other than studies at school to look forward to. In the middle of a particularly sucky day at school (which happens often), there is no one you trust more than them to lift your spirits. When, after two years of getting comfortable with them, you announce that you're about to leave, no one is more upset than them. Throughout the course of your life, no matter where you are, you wonder what they might be up to. You try to get (and keep) in touch, but you can't do  that for too long, because life. Before you know it, social media is the only thing that keeps you connected. You see that those who stayed have patched up past feuds, and wonder if you could've done the same thing if you'd stayed. Then you remember that you're not really the forgiving type. The nostalgia gets to you so much...

This is something that had a profound impact on me, but it took me a while to realize to realize its exact profoundness. When I was in sixth grade, there was a girl in my class who was a ballet dancer. When I first found that out, I told her offhandedly that I like ballet (to this day, it remains my favorite form of dance). I had only just started learning ballet myself. A while later, after I forgot about my remark, she gave me a gold-and-silver shain with a pendant in the shape of a ballerina. It was simple and elegant, nothing too fancy. Just the kind of jewelry I like. I still have it, six years later. I asked her why she gave me this. As offhandedly as I told her that I like ballet, she told me, "Well, you said you like ballet." I did not understand why that warranted her doing something about it, but I understand it now, with help from my mother. Before this incident, I thought that these opinions of who likes what were light and casual, but after this and a fe...

"What has been your greatest failure?" The utility of this question should have been limited to discerning whether or not I was a worthy candidate for the "Ms. Intellectual" award at our school's farewell, but I haven't stopped thinking about this question. When I had been asked this question, I had to think off the top of my head. Certainly I could not say I did not have any failures; I am far from perfect and I never want to lose sight of that. I ended up saying that being a pushover was my biggest failure. It's a good answer, if I do say so myself, especially off the top of my head. It's right up there among my failures. The thing is, it's really hard to put a finger on what my greatest failure might be. The reason is that I'm biased. I catch myself saying that I hate myself quite often, though in jest, and I balance it out by telling myself that I love myself, too. I haven't delved too deeply into self-hatred; I work very hard...