A Grave Marker

 On May 18, 2016, a blog was born. Were it still active today, it would have been active for five years.

Alas, it was not meant to be. This is the story of what Amateur Astronomy meant to me.

 

 

At one point, it was not a frequent occurrence for me to find someone as passionate about astronomy or astrophysics as I consider myself to be. So I was glad to make a friend who had the idea to publish our ideas in the form of a blog.

But call it circumstance. Call it accountability. I don’t know. At one point, the frequency of posts was reduced suddenly. At the time, even I didn’t know the cause for it. I suppose I should have taken it as a warning of this blog’s dismal future.

We were only two students with a lot to share and enthusiastic to do so. But you can only escape schooling for so long. That is exactly what happened. I make no secret of how my final year of high school affected me. And so, I bear no anger towards the person I was supposed to run the blog with; the circumstances do not differ by much. And yet the journey of letting go has not been easy.

I am still proud of having tried something new; to try and put my ideas into words for all to see. And I take pride in knowing that I took a step in establishing myself as an aspiring astrophysicist. Yes, I know the journey has been longer than just this one step. I also know that I do not need to prove myself to anyone when it comes to this. I am still allowed to celebrate this period in my life.

A large part of me is Soumya the scientist. It has bled into the way I think, the way I perceive the world around me. Amateur Astronomy was a manifestation of that. It was the result of my need to be perceived as a scientist, as someone who would someday be involved with the frontiers of research.

That part of me is not dead, nor is it suppressed. It flourishes. With every passing day, I stumble. Sometimes I fall. Sometimes I cry. And I come back from it, ready to do it all again with a new determination.

This part of me is accentuated – perhaps enhanced – by other pursuits that I have made space for in the past five years. I can say today, quite happily, that I am now Soumya the person. Science is a huge part of my life, yes, but it’s not the only part.

By analogy, imagine a song that you’re obsessed with. You listen to it on repeat, other music pales in comparison. It continues this way…until one day, you are irritated by the mere melody.

There is a cure. The cure is to mix things up. Put the song on shuffle with other songs that you enjoy. It retains the novelty for just a little longer. And so it is with me, science, and my hobbies.

I cannot say enough times that writing for Amateur Astronomy was never a bad thing. It was a great idea, though perhaps at an unideal time. That makes it a bittersweet memory. Still, it is a memory to be cherished.

 

I add the link to the blog here: astronomyamateurs.blogspot.com