My Voice, My Legitimacy.
I have a voice.
I have the words to communicate what I'm feeling.
I have a platform, however small it may be.
I have something to say.
It doesn't take much more than that to get talking or writing. It is a liberating experience, and people do you listen once you start. The first time around, it's a free-for-all. The second time, though: legitimacy does come in. What determines legitimacy?
There are two distinct answers for that that I have found so far: one at school and one at home, because these have been the two biggest spheres of my life. At home, the answer has always been that legitimacy – and even high regard – come about when what the speaker speaks is something that should be heard, similarly for writing. The value of thoughts at home is high, and I pride my family and being thinkers. It spurs my belief that I should be heard because I am saying something that is worthy of being heard. It's highly subjective, but then, that's what allows the existence of so much media.
And now for the second answer, the school's answer. My school conditioned me to believe that legitimacy is determined by power, age, or grades. The opinion of the president of the student council is taken more seriously than that of any other 12th grader. And similarly for the "adults are talking" trope or " you are in no position to be making that request" trope.
The latter is not an answer I agree with, but it is what happened with me. One of my appeals to not participate in the council elections had been that I wanted to be heard because of what I had to say, not because a position backed me up. I wanted to be strong and fearless without… it's hard to put into words, but I'll try.
People in power don't have to be afraid – they know they'll be heard no matter what they say. But I wanted to have that fear, because what I have to say deserves that fear. I have to understand that not all opinions are welcome, and learn to take the risk regardless. And then, I have to let my legitimacy be decided, not handed to me on a silver platter.
And that is what I do with this blog, with my videos, and in my interactions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I feel truer to myself than ever before.
I have the words to communicate what I'm feeling.
I have a platform, however small it may be.
I have something to say.
It doesn't take much more than that to get talking or writing. It is a liberating experience, and people do you listen once you start. The first time around, it's a free-for-all. The second time, though: legitimacy does come in. What determines legitimacy?
There are two distinct answers for that that I have found so far: one at school and one at home, because these have been the two biggest spheres of my life. At home, the answer has always been that legitimacy – and even high regard – come about when what the speaker speaks is something that should be heard, similarly for writing. The value of thoughts at home is high, and I pride my family and being thinkers. It spurs my belief that I should be heard because I am saying something that is worthy of being heard. It's highly subjective, but then, that's what allows the existence of so much media.
And now for the second answer, the school's answer. My school conditioned me to believe that legitimacy is determined by power, age, or grades. The opinion of the president of the student council is taken more seriously than that of any other 12th grader. And similarly for the "adults are talking" trope or " you are in no position to be making that request" trope.
The latter is not an answer I agree with, but it is what happened with me. One of my appeals to not participate in the council elections had been that I wanted to be heard because of what I had to say, not because a position backed me up. I wanted to be strong and fearless without… it's hard to put into words, but I'll try.
People in power don't have to be afraid – they know they'll be heard no matter what they say. But I wanted to have that fear, because what I have to say deserves that fear. I have to understand that not all opinions are welcome, and learn to take the risk regardless. And then, I have to let my legitimacy be decided, not handed to me on a silver platter.
And that is what I do with this blog, with my videos, and in my interactions. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But I feel truer to myself than ever before.
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