The Devil's Playground

May 19, 2020

There's a reason the idle mind is called the Devil's playground, not the stairway to heaven.

मन चिंति ते वैरी न चिंति  is a Marathi proverb. It means that sometimes, we conjure up such negative thoughts or scenarios for ourselves that with a mind like this, who needs enemies?

There's also the story of the कल्पवृक्ष that my father told me once. कल्पवृक्ष is a mythical tree that grants wishes. A weary traveler once sits underneath the tree without knowing its power and wishes in passing to have a refreshing meal. The tree grants his wish, but the traveler is terrified, not knowing where the food came from. Is there a ghost here?

The mind wonders and the tree delivers.

Oh no, there is a ghost here! What if he eats me up?

मन चिंति ते वैरी न चिंति . The moral of the story: be careful what you wish for.

"(Noise)...is...for the bereaved and guilty," writes Veronica Roth in her novel, Insurgent. The character she writes about is facing trauma at some level, having witnessed and caused some deaths. For her, an escape from her thoughts comes from an outside source. It does for all of us as well. 

Most of us aren't "bereaved and guilty" like Roth's character. The underlying context, however, is that "noise" -- however you choose to interpret that word  -- keeps us away from our inner demons. Noise isn't always cacophony. Solving difficult math or science problems also falls under that category. I imagine it's quite easy to pin down other forms of "noise" in our lives. Social interaction, parties, addictions, a 9 to 5 desk job...the list goes on.

So yes, the idle mind, or really the introspective mind, is not for the faint of heart. 

It would appear that the lockdown is putting all of us to the test.

It is possible to wonder -- and answer -- who can do well and pass this test. The answer is a category of people who have made it a habit to live in their own minds. These are the people that let their thoughts wander where they may and even hitch a ride on their train of thought. In the end, they are well in tune with themselves to come back from the ride.

Coming back is important. Otherwise the thoughts begin to spiral.

These thought spirals make the idle mind the devil's playground.

Notice that I haven't labeled this category of people. It's tempting to think in terms of introversion and extroversion or any other label that may have come to mind as you read this. I want to point out that it's mere coincidence that introverts find it easier to navigate their minds. However, strength of mind is not a descriptor for either end of the spectrum. That's something completely different, and it's not the point here.

Do we have the courage to delve into our own thoughts and assess ourselves?

Spiraling into our own minds -- making it the devil's playground -- is incredibly easy. Everyone knows this at some level. That's why we choose extraneous noise over peeking inside. Homework is assigned, the television blares throughout the household, and shouting matches happen. For most of us, that seems to be a better alternative than introspection.

What's terrifying is what we might uncover if these sources of noise disappear. That's why a lockdown or a similar situation may grate on many. But, well, dragons always guard invaluable treasures. Does it make you curious what your treasure may be?

Are you brave enough to navigate the devil's playground, battle the dragon, become your own worst enemy, and leave the noise behind? I'm sure there's invaluable treasure at the end of it.

The dragon I'm battling is called Guilt. Sometimes it goes by the name of Low Self-Esteem, Self-Doubt, or Self-Criticism. I plan to defeat it by making mistakes and forgiving myself.

May 20, 2020