The Burnout Frontier

The feeling of guilt is internalized and normalized. That feeling that if the work is bigger than me, then I have to shape myself to match it.

Getting ripped apart in the process is my own weakness.

Some experiences make me wonder if my feelings are my own,

And some others have me wondering whom to trust.

And apparently, there's something wrong with that. Apparently, I need to heal from that.

"You're digging up the past," they say when I try to vocalize it.

"Is our support not enough?" They wonder if I try to seek help.

And help is what I need now.

Help me because I live the knowledge of shouldered heartache that went unlabeled.

Help me because I have lived the ideal even when they try to convince me that the ideal doesn't exist.

Help me because I am trying to shape myself to the size of my completely normal load...

...and I haven't noticed those frayed seams until their structural integrity failed me.

I want to be resolute in helping myself now.

Never want to believe that this is normal.

Don't want to know someone else's thoughts on how I should move on.

"It's all done now," I hear.

While I see the impact crater of that meteor.

And if this is "normal," perhaps it's time for the abnormal.

If normal is broken, it's time to heal.

And perhaps collective healing is what they need to see to confirm that nothing is normal about this.